Can we do anything about the way others act towards us?

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Yes, to a certain extent…...

An example from my life:

Mrs. A enjoys her peace and quiet, as well as reading. Due to her sickness, she is no longer able to walk very well. She would be much happier to go shopping, to the doctor's and to see her grandchildren. She very rarely goes out for cultural events or on trips. She only goes when something truly interests her. She has a friend, Mrs. B. She likes Mrs. B, but it bothers her that Mrs. B always forces her to go out somewhere. Mrs. B is always coming around with loads of suggestions on where they could go together. Mrs. A does not like disappointing Mrs. B. She goes to some places from time to time with Mrs. B, but she never openly and clearly tells her that this isn’t what she wants. She doesn’t want to offend Mrs. B. And thanks to this situation, Mrs. A is unhappy.

Mrs. B is very active. She has a lot of energy and many interests and she is convinced that Mrs. A needs someone to pull her out of her house and to create some sort of program and fun for her. She often calls Mrs. A and offers her some program. Mrs. B is surprised and unhappy when Mrs. A doesn’t accept her well-intended invitation and thinks that she is ungrateful. Mrs. B doesn’t understand how someone can just sit at home. She doesn’t listen very much to Mrs. A's arguments, why not.

Lesson:

Both ladies are sad, because they know that they would go well together. If Mrs. A would tell Mrs. B her opinion, clearly and openly, and if she wasn’t afraid that she would hurt Mrs. B, this issue could be fixed. But only if Mrs. B could also see the world from Mrs. A’s perspective and listen more to what Mrs. A is saying. And also, if she paid more attention to the fact that Mrs. A can’t walk very well. Then everything would be different. They could enjoy some nice event together, every now and again.

Do we ever find ourselves acting in a similar way? Are we really, thoroughly communicating and making sure that the person we are with, understands correctly?

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