HOW I DEAL
WITH IT

I am 30 years old, I am not planning on having a family and I devote all of my energy to my career. In spite of my age, I still am not sure if I am truly fulfilled by what I am doing. I am still trying new things and looking for something more. I feel the most nervous that my peers continue to work very hard in their respective lines of work or companies, but I am still changing and searching. I am worried that I should I continue in this way that I will not be able to achieve what I want, soon.

Dear Andrea, the most important thing is to not compare yourself with others. That includes your friends. It is also important to think what you want and know what you don’t want. You are the one living your life. You need to be satisfied and happy. Searching is also a path, on which you will learn and find many things that you will make good use of some day. No knowledge and no mistake is bad. It's about gaining new experiences. If you are sure that you don’t want a family, then nobody can stop you. It doesn’t matter what others think. Those who are building their careers, aren’t necessarily happy. You can’t see into other people’s minds and they don’t have to tell you the truth. And what is a career exactly? What is your personal goal in life? At the end of our lives we want to be able to say that we have lived our lives happily, according to our desires. I have also been searching. I even finished studying at a different school that I had originally planned. I lived in a city, when I didn’t want to... But in every situation, I searched for what was best for me in that moment and that led me to the place, where I am today. I wouldn’t change a thing... And you are doing it right, I wish you luck! Michaela.

I have been on maternity leave for 5 years. Before this, I worked in a corporation, but the tempo of that job, which was required of me wasn’t something I was capable of handling while having kids at the same time. I am scared and I don't actually have any idea how to start, for example, with running a business, which could possibly solve this problem.

Answer: Dear Lucie, you should probably figure out if you want to go back to that corporation or if you have an idea for running your own company. Everything is possible. You just need to adapt, maybe give up somethings or at least put them off for now. It happens a lot that we just want everything right now - have happy children, be amazing at work, have everything clean, go on beautiful vacations, etc. We are not allowed to hurt anyone with our plans, especially not the children or ourselves. When you will be happy, so will your surroundings. One man told me that if I want those in my surroundings to like me, I have to like myself first. Make your priorities of when and what you want to do. Who is going to take care of your children (it will probably cost a lot, but children deserve it and you will be able to do what makes you happy)? And hire a cleaner - you don’t have to be ashamed, you are not a robot, and everything can’t be handled at once. Rest in your free time and devote some time to your children and your husband. Put everything else off until later, when the children will be bigger. I am crossing my fingers for you, so that you can do what fulfills you! Michaela.

How can I prove to myself, that being a stay at home mom also counts as employment and as a calling?

Answer: Dear Jana, you will have to come to an agreement with your husband, because he will be the one in charge of financially providing for the family. It is very important to speak together and set up the rules. Ask your husband what, according to him, the ideal housewife looks like. What would he like? Assuming he makes a good living, he should be satisfied with a situation such as this... Personally, I make being at least partly, financially self-sufficient a priority. You never know what might happen. Michaela.

I am an HR manager in one corporation, where approximately 80% of the people in my team are women. Do you think that it is necessary for someone of my position to somehow approach women in a special way? All of this is being mentioned in the media and I don’t advocate for this at all. Women always wanted to have equal access, and I fully respect that, I just don’t know how I should give them what they want in the name of “a woman’s mood”, like they often say. Thank you

Hello Jozef, according to my experiences, women expect equality in the approach - for women, this means the same payment for the same work or a reward based on performance, not based on whether you are a woman or a man. And they also appreciate when you respect their decision to apply for a given position. Especially when the employer is not anticipating anything. If a woman applies for a position, she should, for example, have the care for the children settled while she is at work, etc. The “Work life balance” trend is popular today and employees generally appreciate the option to sometimes work from home or the option to work flexible hours or the option to, for example, go pick up the kids or their elderly family member to take them to the doctor's, and then, of course, to carry out their given work. These options with clear rules are especially appreciated by women and they, in favor, pay back their employers with their loyalty and good work results. I would recommend questioning the employees to learn what specific topics women are interested in. I would never recommend the opposite extreme, privileges meant only for women, which, today, is also probably already happening.

My wife is a high-performing businesswoman. I can only speak truthfully that it doesn’t feel like she is my wife or the mother of our children at home. I want to support her in her ambitions, but at the same time, I see how our home is “suffering”. Is there anything you could advise that could help me? Thank you for the advice

Pavel, the best path is mutual communication. Calmly sit down together with your wife and tell her how much you admire and support her, but that you would like to speak with her about how to solve what has been bothering you. Usually, it is a good idea to make a functioning agreement before one of the partners decides for a career. Who is going to do what and what are the rules going to be like. Neither one of you should try to make the other one pay for something they did. But it is also untrue nowadays that taking care of the home is the exclusive task of the woman. Agree on the rules, on how you will function together for the satisfaction of you both. If, for example, both of you want a career, a maid can be the one to worry about the house... Everything can be solved and agreed on, it is only necessary to openly speak about the potential problem at the right time, before it becomes large and unsurmountable. The solution should be a “win-win”, so that you are both satisfied.